Deep struggles and Revelations
by redhairdream
Summary: Arnold Shortman left to help those in need. But when he comes back three years later he is different. Will Arnold be able to overcome this struggle with Helgas help? Rated T for possible future situations.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys so I know ive been on a long hiatus, and I'm sorry. But it's a new year so I hope you all will receive me and my stories with open arms. I hope you all like this come back story!_

I sighed and glanced down at my journal. I was experiencing a seviere writers block. That never happened. Life after the fourth grade had only gone downhill. Miriam drank more, and Big Bob stopped trying to remember my name. The only one I could rely on anymore was Olga, and to an extent I resented that. Olga was the reason my own parents couldn't b bothered by me. But at the same time I knew it wasn't her fault. She didn't choose to be born, or to turn into the person she was today. I was just glad she was that person. The one family member I could rely on.

Nowadays, I lived on my own, in a small studio apartment I had managed to find with a really good rent. Phoebe and Gerald lived next door, and Arnold, well, he was off somewhere helping people. We tried to keep in contact, write as much as possible but sometimes it's not possible. We havn't been in contact for nearly a year now. It scared me to death that I couldn't figure out if something had happened. What if he was off in some jungle somewhere hurt and alone? What if he had been kidnapped?

I shook my head. That's a dangerous thought Helga, let's think about something else, yeah? Glancing back down at the book I was attempting to write, I gave up. This writers block was rediculous. Finally I tossed it aside and dialed Pheobe's phone.

"Hey Helga, what's up?" Phoebe's voice was as cheerful as always. Ever since her and Gerald had gotten together she had been happier than I'd ever seen her.

"Not much Pheebs. I can't concentrate at all. Do you want to go get some lunch with me?"

"Oh shoot. I'm sorry Helga, I can't today. Helga says he's got someone visiting and we need to clean up the place. You wouldn't believe how messy this place gets. Maybe tomorrow we can go out for some lunch?"

Well that sucked. "That's ok Pheebs. Tell Geraldo he can chill. I highly doubt whoever is visiting will care that much. We can do something tomorrow. Have a good day ok?" Phoebe gave her confirmation before hanging up.

I wondered for minute who they could have visiting. As far as I could remember no one they knew lived out of state. I shrugged. Oh well, none of my business. I decided to put on the new Marvel movie I had gotten and hadn't been able to get to, but not long later I was asleep on the couch.

 _It was like a scene from the wizard of Oz, with a large field of red flowers in front of me. It could have easily have covered miles, not being able to see the end of the field anywhere. It was actually quite peaceful to be honest. I didn't have worries here. I didn't have to stress about getting my book written, or miss Arnold. I didn't have to miss the family I never really had, or my sister who didn't have uch time to come around anymmore. I loved my best friend but she was happy and I didn't want to disturb that._

 _I sighed and laid down, letting the flowers hover above me. "I miss you Football head. I wish you'd come home. Then I wouldn't have to fake being happy so much. Maybe it would be a little real."_

" _What do you mean you're not happy? Why didn't you tell me?"_

 _I knew that voice. I would never mistake that voice._

I sat up and screamed bloody murder. Hovering over me stood the very peron I was dreaming about. I clutched my chest, not able to process anything just yet. I gave myself a minute to calm down before allowing myself to assess the situation. Arnold hovered over me, crouched down. He had gotten really freaking tall if he was taller than me crouching. His eyes held worry and guilt. I didn't know what to do. I haven't heard from this guy for nearly a year, or seen him for nearly three.

"Arnold?" he smiled, his green eyes slightly dimmed from their old brightness. "Arnold Shortman?"

"Yeah Helga. I'm sorry I scared you. I just got back and heard you lived next door to Gerald and Phoebe. I couldn't contain myself. I had to see you." That statement made me blush.

"Oh my God. It's really you. You're really back." unable to hold myself back anymore I jumped off the couch and pulled him in tight. He wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest "I missed you so much. How could you leave like that? Those people have others who can help them."

His arms tightened and I felt tears on my shoulder to match my own. He burried his face into the crook of my neck and started sobbing. I froze. Something ust have happened. Must have dimmed the light in his eyes. Hearing him cry like this made my gut wrench.

"Oh Arnold. It's ok. It'll be ok, I promise." I stayed silent after that just holding him. i ran my fingers through his hair hoping to calm him down. i wanted to ask him what had destroyed him like this, but now wasn't the time. He'll tell me when he's ready, I thought to myself. Right now he just needs someone.

"I was alone the whole time Helga. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could handle seeing all the pain the world had to offer." his voice hitched a little but it wasnt bad as he kept going, almost as if he didn't realize he was even speaking. "But helping people is so hard Helga. You see so much suffering. So much pain. Starved kids, sick parents you know could be easily treated here dying. In the begginging I loved what I was doing. I was doing what I could to make what little difference I could. But as time passed it got harder. Seeing all the bad shit dug into me. It got to the point that everytime I saw a dead face, I saw Geralds, or Phoebes. Or god forbid yours. I had to leave, Helga. I had to stop. I couldn't take it anymore."

My heart was breaking. He seemed so broken, as if all the pieces were shattered and missing. I wanted desperately to help him. Wanted to bring the light back. I shifted back but stopped. He was asleep. God, he must be worn out. He let go of so much emotion. So much sadness. Right then I made a choice and dialed Gerald.

"What's up Pataki?"

I whispered into the phone, trying to keep from waking him. "I'm gonna keep Arnold here for the night. He's in bad shape Gerald. He's catrying so much emotional baggage around."

Gerald sighed into the speaker. "I thought so. He seemed so dejected. At least until he heard your name. I think him staying there for a while is best. Take care of him Helga." the phone clicked silent and I sighed. Thankfully the bed was close. I stood up and tried to yank him up but keep him asleep. Damn he had gotten heavy.

"C'mon Arnoldo, I need a little help here." Finally he woke up just enough to put his feet under him. It wasn't much considering he was still fast asleep. He grunted a little when I let him fall to the bed. I covered him up and sat down on the edge. I was kind of at a loss. I wanted to help him so badly. Maybe I should get him to talk to Dr. Bliss. I sighed and went to grab a spare blanket from the closet but before I could stand up Arnolds hand shot out and gripped my wrist.

"Stay. You're the only way to keep the nightmares away." I didn't know what to do. But he was so vulnerable right now. I had a feeling it was only because he was exhausted from the flight, having jet lag and all. Finally I just laid down. When I pulled the covers up around me Arnold shifted. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around my waist. I've never been this close to him, physically. We were very close before he left, almost as close as phoebe and I were.

"Go to sleep Arnold. You'll be better in the morning." I feel asleep not long after, worry wearing me out.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2 guys, hope you like this so far_

 _TRIGGER WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONSIST OF MENTION OF POSSIBLE TRIGGERS. READ WITH CAUTION._

I shifted and stretched. Or tried to. The sunlight shined through the windows revealing the still, peaceful form next to me. The events of last night came back to me, and so did the sadness at seeing Arnold the way he was. He came to me, carrying a heavy burden and I didn't know how to help him. I sighed. I lifted his arm and laid it across him, slow so he wouldn't take up yet.

Without knowing what else to do I decided to make breakfast before waking him up. Healthy breakfast leads to a healthy day. If nothing else it would keep him on a normal human routine. Who knows what he had to deal with? Pulling out a pan, I cracked some eggs. And pulled out a few more ingredients, along with some bacon, and biscuits from a couple nights ago. After everything was ready, I set up two plates with a biscuit, some eggs and bacon.

"Arnold. Arnold wake up. I made some eggs."

He shifted, his eyes cracking open. "Helga?" He wiped the crust from his eyes and looked around. "How did I get to the bed? Didn't I fall asleep by the couch?" He scratched his head and then blushed. "Oh damn. I remember. That's embarrassing." He shot me a smile, slightly embarrassed and a little sad. I had a feeling that sadness would take a while to dim. "I'm not usually that clingy."

I blushed. He had been really clingy. I didn't really give myself time to think about it, with everything that had happened, but thinking back on it, he had pulled me close for the entire night. "Don't sweat Football head. You had a long flight. And you were a bit...broken.." I didn't know how else to put it, because that's what that was. He was broken, and he needed someone to fix him. I just wasn't sure I was the right person to do it. I wasn't exactly whole myself.

He nodded. "Did I hear you say you made eggs?" I grinned and handed him his plate and silverware."

"Sure did Arnoldo. I like to think I'm a pretty fantastic cook, if I do say so myself."

Arnold nodded after taking a bite. He moaned quietly, making me blush. That boy really needs to reign it in. He just spent the night in my bed, and now he was lounging around and moaning? I inwardly groaned. There was no way I wouldn't end up jumping him if he stayed here. But at the same time, how was a supposed to help him if he was anywhere else? And then I thought of , who I'd considered last night.

used to be my therapist when I was little, not having the best family life was a hard thing for a nine year old girl to handle. She was the one who helped me out of my funk in the sixth grade when things went downhill. I had gotten very depressed, wanting to find a way to rid myself of it, and the only way my sixth-grade brain could figure to do that was to start cutting. I have the scars on my arms to this day. It was a year I tended to avoid talking about.

Arnold looked up, clearing his throat. The sound startled me out of my contemplative thoughts.

His expression was serious, and he had his hands clasped tightly in front of him. "Helga. Um, I'm sorry. About last night. I never intended for you to see that. That wasn't something I wanted to share. But when I got here and saw you something broke inside me. I just lost control." he heaved a sigh and stood up, shooting me a very obviously fake smile. "I have a place to stay, so I won't waist anymore of your time. Thank you though. For letting me stay. I needed someone with me and you provided that without a question."

I growled. "Excuse me? More one foot out that door Arnoldo and ill reintroduce you to Betsy and the Five Avengers. You are staying here, and we are going to help you. I don't know how, but we will. We have to." The last sentence was quiet. "I can't have you turning into me Arnold. I refuse to let you do that to yourself. And I'm scared your close. I can see it in your eyes."

He gave a sad laugh. "I won't be in the way? I can't promise to stay until I'm better, but I can stay for a while. Prove to you that I'm trying."

"I think I'm ok with that Shortman. We have a deal." We shook hands, and the smile he shot me froze me. It was a smile that seemed to say thank you but also seemed just a tiny bit happier. As if he just noticed the llight at the end of the tunnel, as miniscule as that light may be. As small as that light was, his smile was that much brighter, and that much closer to being the Arnold I know. The Arnold I miss. "Alright. How about today, you go and visit your best friend and his fiancé. They miss you."

"Fiance? What? When did this happen?" His face lit up, almost completely hiding the trauma he was living with.

"Get showered and dressed and you can ask them yourself." Arnold showered and dressed in a pair of baggy sweats and a flannel he had in his bag, the bag I had only just noticed this morning. When he left I jumped in the shower. I was going to see Bliss this morning. I wanted her opinion before I recommended him to her. He seemed much worse than I had ever been, it was a wonder he hadn't already resorted to self-harm. I lsipped on a pair of jean shorts, a plain black tank top, long thin cardigan and my adidas before grabbing my purse and heading out. Thankfully ' office was in walking distance, so didn't have to drive. i hated driving, with so many stupid people around me, I didn't need to make it worse with one of those steal death taps. Unfortunately, I did have to drive once in a while, so I had gotten my reliable tammy the Tahoe, a 99 Tahoe truck that was pretty sturdy and good in the winter.

After a couple minutes I reached her office. The secretary that manned the building greeted me with smile. I liked her. When I had first started coming here, I had thrown her so much attitude, and she has just thrown it back, but kept it professional enough that she kept her job. We grew pretty close. "Hello Helga. What brings you by? It's been a while hasn't it?" She was older than me but only by about fifteen years, so she was still young, in her mid-thirties or so.

"I just need advice on something. Is Bliss free right now? I don't need too long."

She tapped on her computer for a second before smiling at me. "yeah she's available for an hour or so. She'll be glad to see you"

"Thanks Steph." I knocked on the door to her office.

"Come in!"

I opened the door and let it shut behind me. "Hi, ."

"Helga! How are you? What may I ask, has brought you in to see me? Not that I mind at all." sat back in her chair and smiled at me. Her brown hair was much the same is it was when she first started helping me, only a little longer.

"Actually, I need your help with something. Um, this is hard to be honest. It was hard to see. And i don't really know what to do.

She sat forward in her chair, her smile faltering. "Did something happen? Are you ok?"

I nodded. "I'm ok, but Arnolds not. He came home last night." I proceeded to tell her everything that has happened.

"Unfortunately, Helga, doing good can take it's toll on people. It seems like Arnold has reached his mental limit. Or is close. I think if he had waited any longer to come home, he might have been pushed past his limit. Might I have you take him to come see me? I might be able to help. I'm not sure how much I can do, because once someone has seen just how bad the world can get, that darkness can stick. But I ay be able to help him cope. I also think something personal has happened to make it worse, so I want to talk things through with him."

I heaved a sigh of relief. "You have no idea how much that would help. I want to help him. I want to do everything I can to help him, when he has done so much for me. But we both know I'm not the best person to help him with something like this."

Bliss shook her head. "Helga, it's quite the opposite I believe. I think that you can help him best, based on how you were raised, and what you were put through as a child and teenager. You understand how to be happy past the things you've seen, and has been done to you. You now know how to be happy. Arnold has had a lot of bad in his life. He has his parents back and has had them for years, his grand-parents, though old are still healthy and he has friends who love him. He has only ever seen smaller versions of the bad that our society has to offer. I think that when he saw all of that but multiplied times one hundred, it took a toll on him."

After the insight she had to offer on Arnolds situation, I felt I understood him more. I still wasn't sure I could help him, but I agreed that it was best to have him talk to her for a while. I knew that talking to her was that right choice, that things would have gone south fast had I done anything else.

With a determined smile I made my way home. Arnold Shortman, I will help you. We will teach you how to cope. How to live again. Because the boy I was in love with needed my help, and I wasn't about to disappoint.


	3. Chapter 3

_If you guys have any feedback feel free to leave a review.. I know my spelling has been lacking really bad, but I'm all that worried about spelling. Guys, this is a very dark chapter. It may contain TRIGGERS. Also keep in mind this is pure fiction, I don't want some jumping to conclusions. Also I promise this story will not stay dark. My goal is to resolve things happily. I do not own any of these characters._

Back at my apartment, I found it empty. I hoped things were going well over there. Sometimes a little time with your best friend can help you. I would know, I experience something like this back in the sixth grade. I shook my head. I didn't want to think about sixth grade. That year was horrific.

I heard laughter coming from next door and decided it was a good time to head over. If they were laughing then they were, hopefully, doing ok. Maybe Arnold was doing a little better. Maybe a little therapy and being near his friends and family would be good for him. Maybe he was just away from all of this for too long, and was seeing so much bad stuff that it took its toll. But there was still something that had happened. I almost got the feeling that it didn't happen to him though. But that it was something he had witnessed. I wasn't sure where I got this idea from, other than a feeling. I didn't ignore it though, my hunches were almost always right.

I sighed, questioning while I was still thinking about such negative things. We had made a huge step, whether he knew it or not. I was going to wait to ask about the therapist though. I wanted to give him a couple more hours of positivity before we trudged down this path again.

Phoebe opened the door almost as soon as I knocked. "Hi Helga. Arnold is with Gerald in the living room. I was actually about to get some drinks. Do you want to help me with them please?" That was Phoebe for 'I need to speak with you.'

I followed her into the kitchen where she pulled a pitcher out of the fridge. I pulled some glasses out of the cabinet and gave her a minute. There was never any rushing when it came to Phoebe. She spoke when she was ready and she gave hard facts. Although sometimes she was nice when she said them, hoping to ease the burn of the fact on occasion.

"Helga, he's doing better than he was last night, but he has a long way to go. He seems like his usual self but I detect an underlying darkness that has not quite left. I'm not sure it ever will to be honest." She sighed.

I agreed with her whole heartedly. "I know. And I think you're right Pheebs. But I have a feeling it has something to do with something he has seen. If it had happened to him, I don't think he would be this bad. We all know how Football head thinks. His first thought would have been 'At least it was me and not someone else.' But I think he witnessed it.

Phoebe nodded. "Alright. I was just worried. I wanted to make sure we are on the same page."

"Yeah. I went to talk to Bliss. She wants to see him. I'm not really sure how to approach the topic of a therapist though. He seems to be perfectly open to help, but therapists make you talk about what's disturbing you."

"I think, Helga, that you should just ask him if he want's to see a therapist. He appearss to be very open to help. He knows he is not at one hundred percent anymore and needs assistance to get himself back there. Or as cose as he can get to one hundred. Who knows what he has seen. Even you are not one hundred percent yet and it's been years since that happened. so keep in mind, Helga, that he is very open to help, but that it most likely will not be easy."

"See Pheebs. This is why you're my best friend. You always know what to say. All that logic swimming around in that pretty little head of yours." Phoebe blushed and that was the end of our conversation.

In the living room, Arnold and Gerald were cracking up about something, and I nearly froze in my steps. Arnolds eyes shined, tears from laughing in them. He almost seemed like who he was before. Not the broken boy staying at my apartment for the time being. He looked up and a grin split across his face. I could still see the darkness lingering, but it almost felt like Arnold had shoved it onto a back burner, like it wasn't important. Or maybe he didn't want to see how bad he had gotten. I hoped one day he'd tell me what he saw. "Helga! You're back."

"Of course Arnoldo. We all know you three are the only ones who can handle me. I lack the social skills to try making new friends. People are all idiots anyways."

He laughed. "Seems legit. At least for you."

I gave him an offended scowl. "What's that supposed to mean?" Arnold shrugged and gave me an innocent smile. Good to see he still had some parts of him intact. Something of which made me very happy to see.

"Alright Arnoldo. C'mon. We got stuff to take care of."

"'Kay. See ya later Gerald, Phoebe. And congrats on the ring." the both smiled and gave each other googly eyes.

"By Gerald," Phoebe replied. "You're just next door, so don't think we won't bother you plenty."

We left then, letting them continue their googly eyes. It was time to ask Arnold what he wanted to do. I turned on the tv and sat down, patting the couch next to me. "Alright Football head." I paused, suddenly nervous. I didn't want him mad. And that made me frustrated, Arnold was the only one who could ever make me feel this way.

"You can ask Helga. Whatever it's about."

I sighed and started. He needed a little back story. "In the sixth grade, something happened and it sent me in a downward spiral. No one knew but Phoebe, and my therapist, Dr. Bliss. Bliss helped through the darkest time in my life, and we both know my life wasn't sunshine and rainbows. I went and talked to her today. About you. She wants to see you. See how you feel about regular visits."

Arnold leaned back and thought. He didn't seem particularly upset. But I was still nervous. Sometimes he was hard to read, and i had made it my mission as a kid to understand everything about him. "I can do that. But on one condition." this made me even more nervous. This didn't sound like anything I expected to happen.

"What is it?"

"Tell me what happened in the sixth grade. I'll even promise to tell you what happened as soon as I am ready. Fair?"

I froze. That really was fair, but did I want to talk about it? Was that something I wanted to rehash? I thought to myself. If I didn't tell him, he would understand, but he may not go to therapy. Then where would we be? I finally decided it was worth it. I had to tell him. I had to help him, even if I had to open old wounds to do it. "Ok." he waited Patiently while I collected my thoughts. His brow creased in concern, but I started before he could retract. To be honest I had wanted to tell him eventually. It was something Bliss recommend since I trusted him so much. "In the sixth grade. It was the middle of the school year. As you remember I had just hit puberty, so I looked more feminine than I used to." Arnold blushed but kept quiet. "i was on my way home from school." I cleared my throat. This was getting hard. "Um. I was on my way home from school when a van pulled up next me. I didn't even question it. I tried to run as soon as I saw it pull over. But I wasn't fast enough." I really didn't expect this to be so hard. "These guys pulled me into the van and slammed the door shut. I as terrified." I didn't realize I had started crying until Arnold interupte me and wiped away the tears on my cheek. My heart warmed at the gesture.

"Helga, you don't have to tell me. We can stop. I'll go see Bliss ok? You don't have to keep this up."

I shook my head though. "I have to. You have to understand just how bad it was. You have to understand why I want you to see her, otherwise she would seem like any other therapist, and she's not. Just hear me out ok?" he nodded, but gripped my hand tightly. "They took me somewhere, I still don't know. I was blindfolded so I didn't see anything. There isn't a day that I'm not thankful for that because to see what they were doing to me, and feel it too would have destroyed me." Arnolds face got white as a sheet. He knew where this was going. "They raped me. Over, and over. And over again. I don't know how many there were. I don't know who they were." I was having a hard time talking through the tears. But I was happy in a way. I needed to tell him. It was a weight o my chest, that I wasn't aware of. "I went to the hospital and the did a rape kit. But they had used condoms. There was evidence of rape, but no dna. None. It was a dead end. And through out the whole thing, I never got one phone call the hospital called big Bob but he must have been busy or just didn't care. He never told Miriam what happened.

I cleared my throat again. "Somehow Olga found out. It tore her up. Almost as bad as it did me. She immediately took me to live with her in her apartment a couple miles away. That's why I moved." Arnold was frozen, but I kept going. I had to or I'd stop before I was done. "It got bad after a month. I didn't tell anyone, but I needed an outlet. I started cutting. It was a relief at the time. But I kept thinking about it. About how they couldn't be caught. About how my own father didn't care. And one day I'd had enough. I cut too deep. I sat in the bath tube and just kept on bleeding. I mean, my own parents didn't give a shit about me. Olga found me and took me to the hospital. She had wrapped my wound up. I didn't know she had minor medical training. I was eventually reffered to a therapist, who turned out to be . She was the only one I trusted anyways. She got me out of that darkness. And, Arnold, it was so dark. I thought I was done."

I was bawling. The pressure I didn't know I felt was finally gone. But was it the right time? Should I have waited? The hand the gripped mine squeezed hard, almost painful. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me? I could have been there for you. I could have helped you. What if I'd lost you? Do you know how important you are to me? Do you have any idea?" he took a deep breath. "Helga, I would be farther gone than I am now if I had to live a life without you in it. Why didn't you say anything?

I sighed, the tears finally subsiding, to be replace by a warmth. To know he cared that much gave me hope. Maybe my dream of us being together wasn't so far off. "I was, and still am, Helga G. Pataki. The most stubborn and independent girl you will ever meet. Back then it was worse. I didn't want anyone thinking I was weak. But I also didn't want anyone to be burdened by this. At the time I felt like it would have been better had I just not been alive at all. Then I could stop trying to be strong. Then I wouldn't be Helga G. Pataki, the girl who let herself get raped." I knew it wasn't my fault. Or well, I do now.

"Helga... I'm not even going to dig into that statement. I can see you don't think that way anymore. But let's get one thing straight. If you ever keep something like this from me again, I will throttle you. Do you understand? If it is weighing on you and you need to talk about it, talk to me."

I gave him a smile smile, almost startled by his strong resolve. "Thanks Arnold. But right now, I'm doing ok. Now it's your turn."


	4. Chapter 4

_So sorry about the wait guys, college started back up again so ive been distracted with classes. Updates may not be as often so be prepared for it._

POV Arnold

I was always accused of being dense. I am ashamed to say that in the sixth grade I never really noticed how bad she had gotten. I would make little comments to Gerald about how mean she was on a particular day. I even noticed a change. But I was never smart enough to connect the dots.

I shook my head. How could I be so stupid? I'm agonizing over something I saw, something that didn't even happen to me personally. Yet she is over here, living with something this tough. Something that she had to go through without help, but from one person. Maybe the therapist is a good choice

Helga Pataki is one strong girl. I used to think this when I was a kid, noticing all the little things she endured. Her dad not remembering her name, her mom being a drunk. And to add this on top of everything? It's no wonder she relied on self harm.

"Hey, Helga?" she gave me a questioning look. She had become an amazing person over the years. Smart, kind, still super fiesty. I never realized how much I truly relied on her. "Can... can I see your scars?"

She stared off in space for a minute. Just as I began to wonder if I had made a mistake in asking, she heaved a deep sigh. "Yeah, Arnoldo. I think you should. Don't freak out though. I have a couple different spots, and I have to take off my shirt." With another sigh, she stood up, and pulled her short sleeve shirt over her head. Underneath she wore a simple pastel pink bra. But what caught my attention almost instantly were the multitude of scar right underneath ger right breast. There had to be dozens of scars there. The extended down a few inches but never traveled past where it was too dangerous. They were pale and almost hidden. If I had not been looking for them I would not have seen them for another minute or so.

I stared up at her, awed. How could I not have noticed this? "How could I have been any worse of a friend?"

"Excuse me? That's what you got from this? That's not why I showed you. Look at this." She turned to the side and I noticed more on her lower hip, easily hidden by jeans, which she had to pull down a bit. "I'm showing you this because you need to see that you can accept peoples help. I didn't accept anyone's help and this is what it got me. A lifetime of visual reminders. You don't want this. Trust me. You don't want to get to this point. Because it helps for a little bit but it doesn't last. The pain comes back, harder than before. You cut deeper, because the shallow cuts don't help anymore. Those don't hurt anymore. Promise me. Please? I'm begging you. Go see her before it's too late.

I had already decided. "I promise."

POV Helga

Relief flooded me. When he had asked me to see my scars I froze. Only Bliss had seen my scars, and the occasional doctor. But I knew what I had to do. He had to see them. He had to see how bad it can become. That no one is immune. I heaved a heavy sigh, and fell back onto the couch, forgetting I was in my bra. I had my eyes closed so I was startled to feel a slight touch to my skin.

Arnold was leaning in close, his fingers trailing the scars under my breast. My whole body nearly shivered from the feeling. I never let anyone touch them. I was always afraid of memories resurfacing. But when he did it, it wasn't bad memories that resurfaced. It was a desire I had suppressed until he came back, triggering it all over again. I had been distracted from it the past few days, trying to help him. But now, it wasn't a distraction. It was in the forefront of my mind. I cleared my throat. If he kept this up we'd both be in trouble.

Arnold started. "Oh damn. I'm sorry. It was kind of reflex. I didn't mean to do that." If only you knew. I shook the thought away. I should not have been effected that badly. But when I looked at hi, his face was cherry red and he was struggling not to look at me.

"Why don't we make some lunch?" He nodded, and I was a little unsure of how to feel about the relief that flooded his expression. "Homemade pizza and we can just eat leftovers from the fridge for dinner. I don't have the mental capacity right now to cook three times a day.

"I can cook if you want me too. I know a recipe for a killer pizza. It was grandpa's recipe actually." I smiled at that. I remember them vividly. They had become like a second family to me, those two. Grandma never stopped calling me Elenor and I was beyond thankful Arnold never figured out why. He ended up chalking it up to one of grandma's quirks. I guess in a way it was, but it was one I was ok with. For the most part. She had a wild side to match my own.

It broke both Arnold and I when they passed away. Grandpa had passed away in his sleep, like he thought would happen when we were kids. Grandma, well she was a mystery to be honest. I wasn't sure how she died. It was soon after Grandpa had passed, so I think she was feeling a bit too much grief. To lose someone you've been in love with and around for over sixty years would break anyone. I watched Arnold as he cooked, and my heart nearly shattered at the thought of losing him for good. I was well and truly in love with him. I don't think I'd ever be happy with anyone else. He rounded out my sharp edges, the ones I've yet to smooth out, ones that were now impossible to smooth out.

As I watched him cook, I came to a realization, one I was sure I knew all along, but was a bit too stubborn to acknowledge. I would give my life up for him if I knew it would make him happy again. If it would keep the darkness that was only slightly lighter, at bay. Because that's what I was here for. To help the boy who gave everything up to help everyone around him. I existed to help the boy who had nothing left.

 _Ok guys, so just remember my updates are gonna a little longer in between updates because of school. A combo of japanese and math is a bit of a time consuming one lol. But I think I'm gonna try and wrap this up in a few chapters. If y'all have any input or ideas or anything, leave a review and ill definatly look into any suggestion! Thanks for reading everyone!_


	5. Note!

AUTHORS NOTE.

So sorry for the long wit guys school is a bit crazy right now! I will update as soon as possible but assume for now that this story is on a temporary hold! It is promised to finish so don't worry, I just can't work on it just yet so stay tuned please!


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